Hash songs

Hashing has a long held tradition of (badly) singing disturbing songs as a prelude to a down-down, or just for our own entertainment. Here is a fine selection out of thousands of them:

Oh Upstate Hashers (To the tune of “Oh Susannah!”)

Oh, I’m an Upstate Hasher

With a Bible on my knee

I am heading straight to hell

Let's drink before I leave.

Oh, I'm an Upstate Hasher

Won't you drink with me?

I from South Cackalacky

With a Bible on my knee

(extended version)

We like a beer that’s icy cold

It goes down mighty fast

It’s as if we think that it will

Never, ever last.

Oh, I’m an Upstate Hasher

Where we’re into misery

We all come from far and wide

With a Bible on our knee.

When told to drink a down-down,

You know we always do,

And if we swallow too much beer,

Then we can’t even screw.

Oh, I’m an Upstate Hasher

Now don’t you cry for me

I’ve been out on trail all day long

With a Bible on my knee.

Our trails are always shiggy-filled

I’ve scratches on my shin

Has anyone seen a beer near?

My patience has worn thin.

Oh, I am an Upstate Hasher

With a Bible on my knee

I'm going to AA for sure

Let's drink before I leave.

I had a dream the other night

Of trail in Travelers Rest

I woke up in a nasty sweat

With Bob Jones shitting on my chest.

Oh, Upstate hashers

We're into misery,

We are slow and we are fast

With beer mugs on our knees.

Drink it down, down, down…

Shitty Trail (To the tune of “The Mickey Mouse Club”)

S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L

Shitty trail (It sucked!).

Shitty trail (really fucked!).

The motherfuckers laid a shitty trail (shitty trail!)

I would rather drink a beer,

Than hash your shitty trail.

S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L

Drink it down, down, down…

Here's to the Virgins

Here's to the virgins,

They’re true blue.

They are hashers, through and through,

They are pisspots,

So they say.

Tried to go to heaven,

But they went the other way.

Drink it down, down, down...

We've Got Virgins (To the tune of "Frere Jacques")

We've got virgins,

At our hash,

Gonna get'em drunked up,

Gonna get'em fucked up,

Down the hatch,

Up the ass

Drink it down, down, down . . .

This is your little down down song

This is your little down down song,

It isn't very long.

Drink it down, down, down...

They Ought to be Publicly Pissed On (To the tune of “My Bonnie”)

They ought to be publicly pissed on,

They ought to be publicly shot, (bang bang!)

They ought to be tied to a urinal,

And left there to fester and rot,

Drink it down, down, down . . .

His One Skin (To the tune of “My Bonnie”)

His one skin hangs down to his two skin,

His two skin hangs down to his three.

His three skin hangs down to his foreskin,

His foreskin hangs down to his knee.

Roll back, roll back,

Roll back his foreskin for me, for me.

Roll back, roll back,

Please roll back his foreskin for me.

Drink it down, down, down . . .

Her Left Tit (To the tune of “My Bonnie”)

Her left tit hangs down to her belly.

Her right tit hangs down to her knee.

If her left tit did equal her right tit,

She'd get lots of weenie from me.

Drink it down, down, down, down...

What a Wank (To the tune of "The William Tell Overture")

What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank,

What a wank, what a wank, wank, wank,

Ball Game (To the tune of “Take Me Out to the Ball Game”)

Whip it out at the ball game,

Wave it round at the crowd..

Dip it peanuts and Crackerjack.

I don't care if you give it a whack.

'Cause it's "beat your meat at the ball game,

If you don't cum it's a shame.

For it's one, two, you're covered in goo,

At the old ball game.

Drink it down, down, down, down…

Why was he born so Beautiful?

Why was he born so beautiful?

Why was he born at all?

He's no fuckin' use to anyone,

He's no fuckin' use at all.

He may be a joy to his mother

But he’s a pain in the asshole to me

Drink it down, down, down, down…

He's the Meanest

He's the meanest!

He sucks the horse's penis.

He's the meanest,

He's the horse's ass.

Ever since he found it (hey!),

All he does is pound it (hey!).

He's the meanest!

He's the horse's ass.

So, drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker, drink!

My DNA (To the tune of “YMCA”)

Young girl, I like it when you go down

I say, young girl, put your knees on the ground

I say, young girl, with your lips full and round

On your knees you make me happy

(Spit, spit, spit, spit, spit)

I want to spray you with MY DNA

It’s a present from me, a gift to all the girls

I hope that you like to wear pearls

Drink it down, down, down down

Drink it down, down, down down…

Hashers, Meet The Hashers (To the tune of “Meet The Flinstones”)

Hashers, meet the hashers,

We're the biggest drunks in history,

From the town of Greenville,

We're the leaders in debauchery.

Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years,

Watch us as we drink a lot of beers,

Down down

Down down down down

Down down down down down down down down

Down down down down down

Down down down down down down

I've Only Half a Brain (To the tune of “If I Only Had a Brain”)

I could while away the hours,

Searchin' hills for flour,

Across a wide terrain.

I'd be chipper, I'd be cheerful,

If my stomach had a beerful,

'Cause I've only half a brain.

With my arms and legs akimbo,

As I’m chasing after bimbos,

Through mud and thorns and rain.

I'll be making lots of passes,

As I fondle all their asses,

'Cause I've only half a brain.

Drink, oh, drink it down, drink it down down down down down....

Here’s to Brother Hasher

Here's to brother hasher(s),

Brother hasher(s), brother hasher(s),

Here's to brother hasher(s),

May he (they) chug-a-lug.

He's (Their) happy, he's (their) jolly,

He's (Their) fucked up by golly,

Here's to brother hasher(s),

May he (they) chug-a-lug.

Drink a down, down, down, down...

Hash House Harriers (to the tune of “The Addams Family”)

Their drinking is compulsive and

Their running is convulsive.

They're morally repulsive,

The Hash House Harriers

Da Da Da Da (snap fingers twice)

Da Da Da Da, Da Da Da Da, Da Da Da Da (snap fingers twice)

Their flatulence is rude and

Their genitals protrude when

They're running in nude in

The Hash House Harriers

Da Da Da Da (snap fingers twice)

Da Da Da Da, Da Da Da Da, Da Da Da Da (snap fingers twice)

They're always shiggy tracking.

From constantly bushwhacking,

Intelligence they're lacking.

The Hash House Harriers

Da Da Da Da, Down Down,

Da Da Da Da, Down-Down…

Da Da Da Da, Da Da Da Da, Da Da Da Da, Down-Down…

Birthday Song

Hashy birthday, fuck you,

Hashy birthday, fuck you.

Hashy birthday, fuck youuu,

Hashy birthday, fuck you.

(You fucking fuuuuuuuuck!)

Drink it down, down, down, down…

Last Night I Stayed At Home And Masturbated

(Tune: Funiculi, Funicula)

Last night I stayed at home and masturbated,

It felt so good, I knew it would.

Last night I stayed at home and masturbated,

It felt so nice, I did it twice.

You should have seen me on the short strokes,

It felt so grand, I used my hand.

You should have seen me on the long strokes,

It felt so neat, I used my feet.

Smash it, bash it, throw it on the floor,

Wrap it around the bed post, slam it in the door.

Some people think that sexual intercourse is something really grand,

But me, I’d rather stay at home, and work one out by hand.

Drink it down, down, down, down...

God Bless My Underpants

God Bless My Underpants,

Brand that I like,

Stand inside them, And ride them,

Between my buns when I run, or I bike.

From the waistband, To the legholes,

To the fly flap, Wet with piss,

God bless my underpants, They look like this.

Drink it down, down, down, down...

The Hariette Taunt

Oh they wish they were a hasher with a weiner,

That is what they'd really like to be...

Cause if they were a hasher with a weiner,

They wouldn't have to stop and squat to pee....

Pissonya

Pissonya, pissonya, pissonya,

It's Russian for "I love you",

And if I had my way,

I'd pissonya all day,

Pissonya, pissonya, pissonya,

Cumonya, cumonya, cumonya,

It's Russian for "I love you",

And if I had my way,

I'd cumonya all day,

Cumonya, cumonya, cumonya,

Shitonya, shitonya, shitonya,

It's Russian for "I love you",

And if I had my way,

I'd shitonya all day,

Shitonya, shitonya, shitonya